I haven't gone through your previous posts, but the one thing that comes to my mind is, are you attending AlAnon or NarAnon??? If not, I would strongly suggest it, there you could get alot of the "focus on you" issues met. It sounds like he has meetings to get his needs met, you both have counseling for the relationship, but what about a place for you to get some of your needs met? Check it out . . .