Hi bookwyrm, congrats on finding yourself. Not pining over the AH? How did you manage to escape that feeling? I still pine over my ABF, which seems useless to me most of the time.
It sounds like you are doing a LOT for yourself. You should be very proud. I have done a lot of things I would have never guessed I could, or would do alone. I have flown to Vegas for 10 days, Virginia Beach for a week, Florida for 10 days, NYC at least 20 times, I went to the Yankee Stadium, (which was my childhood dream to go there, and I did it!). I like to travel and I am finding it enjoyable to do these things without the hassle of someone drinking and ruining the trip.
I am looking at joining a theatre group, book club, or taking up ballroom dancing. Never imagined I would step that far out of the box.
I love that I can cook what I want, eat when I want, read when I want, and just get up and go where I want. I do have to consider my son, who is 15, but he is usually with friends. I do my traveling when he is at his Dads.
I am looking for a home to buy. One that will be ALL MINE, where no man has laid his head down on my pillow. Someplace I can call my own, decide for myself what the color scheme will be, and how to set it up. I have this need to get out of this house I live in because the ABF lived here with me and I see him in every room, the fights, the passing out, the excessive drinking, the hateful words spoken, and even all the good stuff.
I will pray that your house gets sold so you can move forward.
I get excited at the possibilities in life and I also get very scared at leaving the past in the past. I am working on myself on a daily.
Thank you for the post asking everyone how we are doing. I guess we spend so much time on thinking about what isn't going right, instead of what is going right.
My biggest accomplishments over the last year is taking on the responsibilities of paying my own way 100%, living and taking care of the house on my own, finding the funds to take trips, managing my needs without leaning on anyone (except SR), and not being committed in the hospital for losing my mind. I had never even slept alone a day in my life until the ABF walked out. I had never made a decision on my own. I had never looked at myself long enough to see who I am, until I had no choice but to do so.
I am pretty proud of myself.