I've been reading so many posts about our A's in this forum. I thought I'd like to start a thread that is about US!
My AH left 8 months ago and I can't believe the difference in my life. It isn't perfect but it is getting better as time goes on. I still have good days and bad days but my bad days would have been good ones a year ago! I've done a little of the step work but only the first 4 steps. These helped me enormously before AH left but really kicked into gear in the first few months after.
I don't pine for my AH. I don't miss having him around but I do miss the occasional hug. I'm enjoying my freedom and revelling in living alone. Its the simple things sometimes. I can eat what I want when I want. I can watch TV if I like. I can even read a book - only interrupted by a head butting cat - in any room I choose!
In fits and starts, I'm rediscovering life. This year I've been to the cinema, I've been to the theatre 4 times and am planning more visits. I'm going to my first ever opera at the end of the month - I have no idea if I'll like it but I won't know unless I try! I've reconnected with old friends, rediscovered the joy of my exisiting ones and even started making new ones!
It isn't all roses though..
My house has been on the market since November and still hasn't sold. It makes me feel stuck - I'd really like to get a place of my own. I feel like a caretaker living here. I think I'm using it as a reason not to get out and do more. Join night classes? But I don't know where I'll be living in a few months time, it might be too far away! So that is something I need to work on. Maybe I will just sign up for that life drawing class I've been thinking about...
I'm still on anti depressants and will be for a while yet. I do get the occasional blue funk days. I still have to work on my self esteem, confidence and trust issues. I'm becoming so much more self aware - through reading, talking with my counsellor and visiting this board. Happiness is well within my reach and I do grab it most days!
I'm getting there, where ever there is, and I'm starting to find that the journey is much more interesting than the destination.
So tell me, how are you doing? How far on in your recovery are you? What are you doing for you?