Welcome and congrats on staying sober for another day!!
What's your life worth to you? To go to an AA meeting and finding the help you need to stay sober OR worrying about what people will say if they found out you went to an AA meeting? For real, it's just an excuse that you alcoholism is forcing you to believe so it can keep control of your life through fear. If a doctor told you that you had a disease, would you not take immediate action to arrest that disease and begin a healing process? Would you let what people might say about your disease keep you from getting treatment? Look, don't take my word for it. Get hold of the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous and read about it for yourself.
BTW~ i am very grateful that you have come here willing to share about your problem.
Hang on and don't take that first drink!