Originally Posted by
Callie 
I can for a while, but then frustration just builds and builds until I explode because he fully agrees with everything that I'm saying. But for the most part his actions speak differently.
This is where I think that I have the MOST difficult time handling. He says he is working his recovery program but his actions speak differently. He says he loves me and the kids but his actions speak differently. I think that was what was making me work harder at trying to "help" him.
The sad reality though is that all of my "help" was sending him further into it.
Yesterday, I started rereading the getting them sober books. Only because I know that now it has got to be about me. I really was letting the information sink in that THIS IS NOT ABOUT ME. I DIDNT CAUSE HIS BEHAVIOR.
That is when it hit me what I have been doing. I have still been trying to fix him and thinking that when he doesnt pick up the phone when I call that its because I said this to him or I did this to him. Grasping that simple statement that I didnt cause this is so important for me.
So here I am.