Hello,
My problem is with alcohol, as far as I'm concerned it's an addictive drug. I don't follow those who say that alcholism is a disease, and I do agree that to believe so, it might lift a weight from the shoulders of those addicted. Probably many need to have that weight lifted too, to get on the road to recovery, because self-loathing also keeps us drinking.
Don't be shy, keep posting, maybe some of the things we say can give you a different perspective, maybe they can help you in some way. I hope so.