TakingCharge999

"I know I'm not ready to run into EXABF in the street anytime soon, and I dread the day that I might have to/accidently face him again, but that is in the future, and I am in today."

Thanks for that reminder of living in the present moment!

Well spirited, as I work with ex AH I have ran into him since day #1 from the breakup, and still run into him almost daily. Not only that, as he now lives with another woman, I run into THEM when we get out of work. Or in the morning, I see his car parked somewhere that is not in the way from his home to work, and I know he slept at her place (or somewhere else...) Or inside the office, because seemingly she has no keys to his home, and has to see him at work if he is busy.

Now we are almost neighbors, and I am sure we will need to interact more at the job in the future, as we may be handling the same account for a while.

Bottomline - even with all this. I have been able to keep my peace!!!!! Granted, not always...granted, it has been extremely difficult... granted, yesterday I got angry for a while... but it is true, he may be asking Gisele Bundchen for marriage infront of you.. and YOUR peace keeps being YOURS, and your JOY is still yours, and the lessons YOU have learned are still YOURS, and there is nothing in this world they will do or won't do that will harm you anymore.

Now I see how he used to drink before we met, and how he is drinking all the whiskey in the world now, and my "hopes" of him being healthy seem SO ridiculous... knowing the enemy has helped me know its not personal, it never was... I am SO little "against" the disease, there is nothing that could have changed the fact he is an AH. An active AH in denial with agressive tendencies. That is what I think when I see him. Sad.

Sometimes I thank God I only have to see him at work, where he has to behave, and I choose to see it as a blessing - that he cannot hurt ME now. Or ever. That whatever he is doing - is with others. That when he talks to me now, is to talk about technical stuff - not to lie, manipulate, say cruel stuff, wash his hands from any wrong doing, or tell me some sexist joke or how bad I look with those specific clothes, yadda yadda quack quack quack. I am safe now (and ready for the good times and only great people in my life!)

Just offering some hope, keep working on yourself, and you will be prepared for whatever happens!!

Hugs!

PS Wearing dark glasses while out, and perhaps an iPod, has helped me so there is no eye contact. I learned this trick from him, LOL