1) "...I find myself very irritable. I feel the urge to lash out and fly off the handle over almost anything. Is this normal?..."
2) "...Finally, if all of this is fairly routine, when does it end? This drunk is running out of steam and is starting to think I was happier drunk. I attend aa everyday. I share, I listen . . . what else could I do?..."
3) "...One more thing, I don't have an aa sponsor yet. Should I have one by now? Honestly, I never thought I would still be going to aa because I have MAJOR hang-ups with the God/Higher Power concept is so vital to the program. Due to my hesitant stance, I have avoided getting a sponsor (despite several members strongly encouraging me to do so)..."
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OK....let me take these by the numbers...............:
1) In the AA Big Book it talks about why most alcoholics drink----that they like the effect produced by the alcohol----and that when the alcohol is taken away they seem to be restless, irritable, and discontented until they can regain that sense of ease and comfort that comes at once by taking a few drinks.....so, yes, at this point in your 'recovery'/'sobriety'/abstinence, I would say that all that you are feeling (going through) is absolutely normal.
If you have a BB, check out the chapter The Doctor's Opinion. Even if you don't have a BB, you can read this online.....the first 164 pages are available to read on AA's website.....:
Alcoholics Anonymous : ........,.;
2) This one is really short 'n simple. When does this end....? You attend AA every day; you share; you listen;.......what else can you do.....? Since you didn't mention it, my suggestion would be.....: keep listening and find yourself someone to be your sponsor and get yourself into working the steps.....; and finally.........
3) Like I ended #2, yes, I would suggest you find yourself a sponsor and start working the steps; unless you want to stay at that restless, irritable, and discontented stage. There really is a difference (for most, that is) between just abstinence and sobriety (freedom from alcohol)/recovery, and for most, working the steps (or at least some new design for living) is the answer.
....and don't worry about the 'God/HP thang' ....recovering in what I like to call my little corner of the Bible belt, I got a lot of 'get God or get drunk' shouted at me, in my face, but I found an atheist sponsor, and I recovered, sans the God of anybody's conception. It can be done, my friend, and don't let anybody tell you otherwise. In fact, most of my f2f recovery buddies are atheist/agnostics, and they are all clean/sober; happy, joyous, and free; clean and serene.
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So, relief, it's all up to you. Congrats on your 12 days; that is a major accomplishment, but I guarantee that if you continue your abstinence, and add some steps into the mix, that you will see good changes in your life....perhaps not right away, but they are out there, and you'll get there; just keep on trudgin the road of happy destiny....... (o:
NoelleR
DOS: 6/23/86