One of the hardest things I have done is not answer the phone when my son called but I think that showed him that I wasn't going to play his games. Maybe the best thing for all of you right now is no contact what so ever with him. You know he is safe, has food to eat, a bed to sleep in and is not using so you shouldn't need to reassure yourself of those things. You can't stop him from blaming you but you don't have to talk to him so that you hear him doing it either. I pray that you will find peace and he will find the better path in life. You are a great mom don't ever forget that!!!