I'm looking for some experience, strength & hope
I'll start out by saying, it's the end of the week and I'm tired . . . I'm having a hard time finding serenity, finding a connection with my HP - I feel sad and anxious, lonely and depressed.
I'm looking for support from the wise SR moms.
My 28 yr old AS has been homeless for 4 months, living in a shelter. He is trying to get himself "in the system" for assistance and claims he wants mental health help (should I be posting in the Mental Health area?) It is a long, hard, frustrating road - appts. w/people are weeks out and they only seem to lead no where or to another appt. weeks out . . . he claims he is clean and has successfully passed a year of mandatory random drug tests through the court system (at first about once a month, but for the past 5 months about once or twice a week.)
I keep trying to be a support, a family for him, but it is wearing me down. My problem is I'm still giving him money (to pay for a bed & locker at the shelter, to get a meal here or there, to help w/bus fare, etc.) and that stress is what takes a toll on me. I don't make enough to support us both. We don't seem to have much of a relationship outside of the money part of it though.
I still have soooo many "buts or what ifs". How can I turn my back on him if he really needs help getting the help he needs? I just keeping thinking if I can hang in there til his next appt. (05/04 Alcohol/Drug assessment 2nd appt., 05/13 Neuropsych assessment, 06/08 Omnibus hearing (pretrial hearing to determine admissibility of evidence) for 1 count of theft by swindle (for taking my car & trying to sell it) that maybe "something" will happen. But the "next" appt. doesn't seem to get the results "I want"!!! (I know, I know it's God's will, not mine.)
I know there are parents here that are NOT enabling. I'm wondering how??? I feel like I have to go into hiding or move out of state to be able to break the connection. Did anyone else feel like that? What did you do? What happened?
I'm looking for experiences to relate to - is anyone willing to share?
Thanks, Joan