SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information - View Single Post

04-30-2009, 12:22 PM

# 4 (permalink)

CrackQuack

Member

Join Date: Mar 2009

Location: Dayton, OH.

Posts: 879

Quote:

Originally Posted by lifequest

First of all, I want to congratulate all the people on this site! You are a fantastic crowd! And I want to apologize up front for my spelling...English is not my native language so please go easy on me!

Now I guess I better introduce myself...So there we go...

I am a 38 year old woman, mom of 3 great kids (2 sons soon 21 and 19 and a lovely 9 year old daughter)...I know now you are wondering if I made a mistake either on my age or on my sons age...I did not.

I started drinking (more than I should) 5 years ago...I do not drink everyday and I am totally ignorant of the withdrawals symptoms since I never ever experienced them...and to be honest I do not want to get to that point (not judging anybody here). I drink weekly...what do I mean? I mean I drink around 3 bottles of white wine a week. Every time I get the darn bottle I waste a day of my life...3 days a week I get drunk, I cannot stop until it is empty!

I watch "Intervention" every week seeking for infos or whatever will light me up and I end up thinking "I am not that bad, I do not drink as much as they do"...I know what I am doing is slowly destroying myself...but it seems I have nowhere to go...

The 12 steps and the AA meetings are certainly good and helpfull for many people but for me it is useless because I do not believe in God. Yes I was baptised (what could I do I was 3 weeks old) and so are my sons because 20 years ago (here in Quebec) it was the easiest way to give them an identity. I am more into Boudhism and spirituality...and it seems the ressources are limited for us. So this is a SERIOUS attempt to connect back to myself...
.

First, let me welcome you to SR! I am glad you are here. You found a good place for information and support.
Second, I think your English has been great so far!LOL.
3rdly, don't be put off from AA because you don't believe in the traditional Christian God. I do not either. I believe in A God, but part of my background is Cherokee Indian, so you see where I go with this??? My God is much different too, and I am a member of the NA (narcotic's Anonymous). Just simple spirituality is ALL AA or NA ask for. NOT religion! You are in luck in that area. The God of YOUR understanding is your Higher Power, and that Deity will be whom you rely upon, give your life and your will to. Whom you pray/meditate to for support and guidance. I hope I am making sense...
So you can go to AA. You don't have to tell ANYONE whom you believe or don't believe in. In fact, if you go, your early meetings, IGNORE that part. Just listen for the similarities and stay away from listening to the differences.
I am a crackhead and I never got arrested or sold myself on the street in the name of obtaining crack. I was on it for only 2 years. I've heard so many stories of crackheads whom were in the NA, with me, via court order. Had been prostitutes for YEARS, got arrested, had been ON crack for longer than I've been alive (well, not that long, but close), and they are CLEAN. I've been off of it, now, for almost 3 months. Not long, if you're not an addict, looking at the time. But for an addict, it is a miracle!
Anyway, I learned to listen for the similarities. The selling of items. The neglecting of friends/family. The hiding out in bedrooms or bathrooms. The needless end to score crack at all hours of the day and night. The feeling of hopelessness that we'd never get off the drug. The lies. The loss of money and time....The EXCITEMENT of finding the NA. The stories of relapse and picking oneself up again and starting over.. And on and on.. So much more.
Go to an AA meeting. Just listen. And go back. You'll find people there, in your shoes, once in your shoes, and ones in their own shoes. People that believe in a Christian God, Wiccan God, No God, Buddha, Hindu, and many others. Some people, who don't believe in any God, call NA or AA their higher power. It's whatever you want it to be.
:ghug3 And you can make your posts as long as you like!!!
Again,