lifequest

First of all, I want to congratulate all the people on this site! You are a fantastic crowd! And I want to apologize up front for my spelling...English is not my native language so please go easy on me!

Now I guess I better introduce myself...So there we go...

I am a 38 year old woman, mom of 3 great kids (2 sons soon 21 and 19 and a lovely 9 year old daughter)...I know now you are wondering if I made a mistake either on my age or on my sons age...I did not.

I started drinking (more than I should) 5 years ago...I do not drink everyday and I am totally ignorant of the withdrawals symptoms since I never ever experienced them...and to be honest I do not want to get to that point (not judging anybody here). I drink weekly...what do I mean? I mean I drink around 3 bottles of white wine a week. Every time I get the darn bottle I waste a day of my life...3 days a week I get drunk, I cannot stop until it is empty!

I watch "Intervention" every week seeking for infos or whatever will light me up and I end up thinking "I am not that bad, I do not drink as much as they do"...I know what I am doing is slowly destroying myself...but it seems I have nowhere to go...

The 12 steps and the AA meetings are certainly good and helpfull for many people but for me it is useless because I do not believe in God. Yes I was baptised (what could I do I was 3 weeks old) and so are my sons because 20 years ago (here in Quebec) it was the easiest way to give them an identity. I am more into Boudhism and spirituality...and it seems the ressources are limited for us. So this is a SERIOUS attempt to connect back to myself...

I am sorry this is a long post and I want to say that lots of people I care for believe in God I am NOT anti this or that, I am probably one of the most open minded woman in the world...I just cannot believe in the same God you guys do...but I believe in life and humans...I am just different I guess with the same goal...