Originally Posted by
sailorjohn 
I've learned that playing codie detective was ultimately unproductive for my recovery, and teaching me to ignore what my common sense and gut was telling me. The 'excitement' was a bit of a buzz, but afterwards I always felt unhealthier.
While I know what you are saying, I think there's a difference between allowing that codie detective role to consume you, and allowing yourself to face the truth, head on, and take action toward change.
For me, knowing was part of the acceptance process.
Looking back to my first husband's affair that ultimately lead to our divorce, I needed to KNOW before I could accept, especially since it hadn't happened before.
As Nyte said..validation. JMO
I understand (((Nyte)))
(((Hugs)))