KJ is so right.
The forum has a way of making folks feel protective of one another. I've been told it's from going through the same things and feeling such an urge to stop it from ever happening to anyone else.
I have felt that kind of rally around me when I've struggled. I hope you feel it here, too. It's meant with love even if it is a litle tough love.
You really can make the decision that powder on the dining room table, where a close family should gather for a meal and to talk about their day, is your bottom. You can say you have had enough and make it stick.
I wish you well!
Alice