original,
Don't miss this chance. Like another person replied, you never have to do this again. You never have to feel like this again. You never have to suffer the consequences for these actions.
...But, you still can if you want to. I said the same things you are saying after my first DUI. I was sure that the slap in the face, the fear, the admission of my lack of control, would be sufficient to stop my drinking. Just like Bill's story in AA's Big Book, fear sobered me up for a little while. Then, because I have a mental obsession with the first drink, I picked up again. Same actions, same results. After each new consequence, including a few more DUI convictions, I would say the same thing. That this was the bottom I needed to stop for good. It never was. I could always find a new bottom.
That has all been some time ago. Somewhere along the way of repeating the same things over and over, and becoming ever more demoralized, I had a moment of clarity. And that moment of clarity was knowing deep in my heart that I was never going to get it under control. That there was no sufficient bottom that could prevent me from drinking. That I was doomed to just keep getting worse and worse and spending more and more time in jails. That, even with having a judge make it very clear what the consequences were for my continued drinking, I knew I would continue.
That's when I actually heard someone in AA when they told me there is a solution. And that's when I started to take the steps as a suggested program of recovery. And that's when my life changed and alcohol ceased to be a problem. The mental obsession was removed, and I live a life better than I had imagined.
Hope you can find a similar experience without the repetition I engaged in.