Your right Anvil. Maybe I have made it too personal when I have talked to him before and I like the ideal of talking to him like his brother was just someone else (not related.) That way he does not feel he has to be on the defense.
His brother has not always been like this. I have even known him before booze...We were once friends and I guess that is part of the hurt. It is hard for me to understand the disrespect and self hate.
It may have not sinked in yet for my boyfriend about how sick his brother really is. He has never really been around this kind of problem...and often ask me "Why I think he has gotten so bad." I have had to tell him that he is not helping.......