Originally Posted by
Ann 
WE are not the only option, and we are far from being the best option for them or for us. Letting go does not mean to stop loving, letting go means to love enough to let him find his own way and learn his own lessons without interference.
Sure it's hard, but not as hard as having a front row seat this his addiction or his recovery.
Hugs
Wow Ann, what insight!!! Realizing i am not the best option for my son is SO freeing. And knowing that i cannot take a front row seat to his recovery is also SO freeing...
God has a plan for my life, and that does not include hovering over an active or inactive addict....
I too have lots of room in my home for someone to live - and i've had to live with the uncomfortable feeling of helping my two older sons while in college and beyond both financially and in letting them stay here while on college breaks while i said an emphatic "no" to the son in active addiction/rebellion. But bottom line is that it is my home, and i have had to decide what kind of help to give each one of my children based on their behaviors and decisions. Each case is different - with the case of the active addict being a lot different.
You will hover over your son if he comes back to live - he needs to be finding his way outside of the parental "nest." If you think you won't hover, you're fooling yourself. And your son, being fearful of the new life of recovery, may take the path of least resistance and let you hover over him. Not good for anyone - especially in the period of early recovery when your son is most in need of lots of access to people in recovery who have gone before him and who will hold him accountable in the everyday things of life that you as a mom may not because of fear of his reaction.