Now that he is really serious, and really 100% clean, no one in his family will help him. It just kills me. Nothing has ever hurt me more. But, its tough love now. He has to suffer the consequences.
Sometimes the hardest thing to do, is the right thing. When he lived there before he just got sicker and so did you.
Letting him find his own way through recovery, letting him learn to live life on life's terms (even if life is not always what HE wants), is to give him a gift of love greater than anything else you could do.
He is in rehab now, surrounded by support, and the real test will come when he leaves. One of the things they teach him is that he has to change his ways, he has to do differently than what he did when he used drugs, and this means learning to take care of himself and doing what he needs to do without anyone else telling him how he "should" live or cushioning his fall.
Once I found my own recovery and began working a healthy program that allowed me to accept life without staying up all night worrying or making myself sick...only then could I be strong enough to do what was right for me and for those I loved.
Have you gone to any meetings? If so, hang on to that support and share with them as you share with us. If not, maybe now would be a good time to give yourself a program that will help you maintain your balance...no matter how he does with his recovery.
WE are not the only option, and we are far from being the best option for them or for us. Letting go does not mean to stop loving, letting go means to love enough to let him find his own way and learn his own lessons without interference.
Sure it's hard, but not as hard as having a front row seat this his addiction or his recovery.
Hugs