Designer: You'll get there. It's not perfect and I've certainly had many ups and downs over the past year, but you will get to the point where it's too much.
One thing that hit me recently that I posted about when I came back was listening to my own actions. If we listen to the A's actions, they tell us they don't care for us. They lie, manipulate, don't call which they know hurts us, and many many more things. We then begin to demand respect, kindness and attention. We tell them we deserve better BUT they listen to our actions just as much as we listen to theirs, I believe. Our own actions tell them we will take whatever they dish out because that is what we've always done. When OUR actions stop telling them that we are a doormat, they may get it and seek sobriety or they may not. Either way WE get it and decide to live a different life, one that only includes people that treat us the way we deserve to be treated. It's taken a VERY long time, but I finally have this kind of life.
If you need to get some feelings out, try to write. Another idea is to find an object in your apartment and yell at it or hit it to get your feelings out. Then it becomes your anger object. My therapist taught me about this when I was trying to deal with my angry feelings after the final break. I used a pillow sitting on a chair in my living room. It really helped!