Originally Posted by RohnertWestfiel

Hi,
So I am an alcoholic and was sober for 5 years then thought I could handle it again because I was more of an adult... well here I am... I have hit 3 or 4 rock bottoms and was just about at my 2 month sober mark this time and I went out drinking by myself and ended up getting my stomach pumped and having to call my husband from the ER. I blacked out after stopping into a place for 1 drink (it has never been 1 drink for me) was then found by strangers, on the bathroom floor covered in my own puke and incoherent.. The last time I realized I couldn't drink I just lost my shoes and walked away from it. Didn't think about it for 5 years... But this time I am feeling like a complete failure and wondering if I can do it. I can't take many more of these rock bottems. My husband is totally supportive and would do anything to help me not drink but when I sneak around how can he help and why can't I tell him??? GOD I just needed to say this to someone. I am scared that I will lose everything. And I easily could.. The fact that when the ambuliance came to get me at the bar I left with all of my belongings including credit cards and cash was a miracle. I'm just feeling like a failure....