Lost I knew I was an alcoholic for a lot of years before I finally hit bottom, but there is no reason to discuss my bottom here, my bottom is my bottom, every persons bottom is different, some of us have a bottom that is 6 foot under!
I pray for your sake and your families that you find yours soon, I hate to say this, but it sounds as though you are not there yet:
[QUOTEI WILL GO TO A MEETING TOMORROW .[/QUOTE]
TOMORROW never comes, when I hit my bottom all of the tommorrows were gone, I took ACTION right then and there!!! I picked up the phone and I called a Drug and Alcohol line and got the first appointment available and from that point on I keep taking it a step at a time & one day at a time!
Your mom found the same soulution I found, if you are at your bottom you will call her right now, without even replying to the old man typing this and tell her "Mom, I need HELP! Can you get my butt to a meeting or get some one over here to get me started please?"
I have walked through the gates of my own mental hell, I surrendered and I took the hand of some one who had been there before me and he showed me the way out!
I am an old redneck, I was raised that a man needed no help with anything, if I dug myself into a hole it was up to me to dig my way out!!! I was the guy who could and did do ANYTHING I put my mind too....... it took me a LONG time to finally admit that I needed help!!!
Well I will just say this, I have learned that it takes a much bigger man to ask for help then to drink himself into the bowels of hell refusing to ask for help!
You have found your bottom when you are willing to do what ever it takes to get and stay sober.
I do pray that you find it soon, the gifts of sobriety are well worth it, but they are impossible to comprehend until we have been sober a while.