(((Patrick)))
Welcome to SR. Your story is very familiar to mine. I was an RN, absolutely LOVED my job. I became addicted to opiates. I "almost" got caught..managed not to, a couple of times. The last time, scared me enough that I quit the opiates, got into meetings, but obviously had not hit my bottom or accepted that I was not through trying to numb myself.
I got another job, hadn't lost my license, yet, when someone introduced me to crack and it was downhill from there.
Not to hijack your thread, but if I had stopped when I first was in trouble at work, gotten honest with myself, and put my heart into recovery, I would still be an RN. I'm not, I'm waiting tables. I can still GET my license back, but there are a ton of hoops to jump through.
I have 2 years clean, but I went a long way from where you are now, to when I hit bottom. I truly hope you don't follow my path. Mine included jail, homelessness and a few other unsavory details....all in an effort to get high.
Nursing was my life, and I thought NOTHING could ever take me away from it. Don't think your love of firefighting is stronger than addiction, because it's not.
Despite the fact that I'm not a nurse any more, I am looking into other avenues to use my background, back in school, and I am a much happier person, now that I am 2 years into recovery. Try it...it's very much worth it.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy