The thing that sets an Alcoholic apart from other people is the Phenomonon oh Craving. Nobody else gets this. Just us. Dr. Silkworth says it may be the manifestation of an allergy that sets us apart as a separate entity. An Alcoholic can not "not drink"
That's what makes us powerless over alcohol. Powerless means just that. It means you can't scare this Phenomonon. You can't trick it, you can't reason with it and you can't run and hide from it. It owns you. Nothing anyone says in a meeting will make it go away either.
The time to quit drinking and recover is when you come to the realization that alcohol has control of more of your life than you're willing to give up. We make concessions and excuses for our drinking as alcohol is really drinking us dry. It sucks more and more of the life out of us until we have had enough. This realization comes sooner for some and later for others. For the majority, it never comes at all. An Alcoholic can never become a normal drinker. We will die trying. Got to admire that quality in us. We will go to our graves with the delusion that we will be able to control it this time.
This is all on you. It's all about how long you're going to try to control your drinking.