BetterJohn
When I stopped drinking the first time I felt that my bottom didn't come anywhere close to some people in AA. I stayed in for 15 years and thought I would be able to drink again. Well, my last day before coming back in I was 5 minutes from death!! I never thought it would get that bad but it did. Its this damn disease. Its cunning, baffling and most of all so powerful. It makes up believe that we weren't that bad and we could do it in moderation. Not the truth though, and believe it when people say that it doesn't matter how much time they had that they pick up exactly where they left off. That is the truth. Once a cucumber now a pickle - you can never go back to being a cucumber again!!!!
Good luck and please keep posting.