Thanks for welcoming me
Im sitting here at my computer crying my eyes out about all the wonderful replies I got. It feels so good to have it all out in the open. Today is day 5 and my withdrawls are so much better. The craving however is driving me crazy at times. I had someone call me yesterday and offer me 10-10mg lortabs. It took absolutly everything in me to say no. After that call it was all I could think about. When I woke this morning it was still on my mind. I had to run errands this morning and actually went out of my way so I wouldn't pass this persons house. I was scared to see that ever familar driveway that I visited so many times in desperation, petrified that they may not have any pills but praying with all my heart they did. I just want the craving to go away. Im trying so hard to resist,to escape addictions clutches. When will it subside? I just wish I didn't want it so bad. Its like my every thought is about pills. I crave that feeling. That absolute happiness I feel when I have them. I feel utterly hopeless and sad right now. I almost wish I could just give in. I could have them in 5 min and then I would feel happy but Im tired of chemically induced happiness its not real. I will not think of tommorrow Ill battle this demon today and by the grace of God, Ill have the strenth to fight another day.:praying