We all make decisions based upon what we feel, but a mature adult, especially one seeking spiritual growth, is able to make decisions apart from what they feel. For example, I don't always 'feel' like paying my gas bill because I'd rather spend the money on something fun. Yet I realize me arse will be cold in the winter if I make the decision based strictly on my feelings.
Consistently making decisions based on what one feels is immature and crazy making to not only our own lives, but those around us because feelings change quickly. FWIW, my insight into addiction is that addicts frequently and consistently make decisions based upon what they are feeling in the moment. It's frequently like dealing with a child or adolescent, which is congruent with the phenomenon that addicts stop maturing at the age they began using.
Sometimes, however, you have to remember they're just high as a kite and don't know what the hell they're saying.
Yea, an adolescent with lowered inhibitions is my fav thing.
A big part of my recovery is learning to trust my thinking again. I believe it's the biggest piece of me left to recapture, so I understand and am sorry for where you are. Don't forget, addiction does lose it's ability to, "... dominate our thoughts and our lives.", when I choose where to put my focus.
Many Blessings,
Shaman