Originally Posted by
Paulos 
I was happy that mom was drinking water and not wine, and I was talking to her around 11:30pm upstairs and was happy, but then ... when she started the wine, even a little, I just got SO ANGRY... I think it's my resentment that she drinks in front of me and she KNOWS she's said so many horrible things to me when she was drunk, and even when she's not it still effects me."
The thing is, whether it affects you or not, she WILL drink. It sounds as if you are trying to make yourself part of the equation in an A's drinking. You do not figure.
I can understand YOUR anger, but that is your reaction. You own it. As to what she remembers as far as saying horrible things to you while drunk, who is to say? She may remember some of it, but she may be in a blackout.
However, you are not in a blackout. You have the choice to refuse to allow an alkie's rantings to affect you. I've heard it all and seen it all. I learned to blow it off. It was either that, or suffer the ongoing trauma of someone saying cruel things to me.
I have made the choice to not believe what I see or hear. Please do not allow what somebody else chooses to do, by their own free will, affect how you feel. I realize this is easier said than done, but it is possible to detach from what an addict it saying or doing. You are hearing the booze, not the person.
Her choosing to drink in front of you is HER choice. You have the choice to leave the room and not watch what she is doing. It took me a long time to come to the realization that what somebody else does is not going to influence my happiness, or lack thereof.