Thank you for your responses Freedom, JoBloggs, and Barbara,
Freedom, I am not sure what normal fear is - this doesn't feel normal. I am closer to my sister and nephews and I would so worried and sad and upset if they were sick, but not "panicky".
Jobloggs, I think there is something to the "unconditional love idea". In therapy that fear of losing a lover felt very close to the anxiety and panic of losing my mom.
Barbara, as usual, your insight feels like it is opening a door - I do think there is some issue with my mother/uncondional love?