hahaha. I remember the days when the little ones would be doing that. They are older now, less apt to do it, but when they do it's because they need to go to the restroom or perhaps it's 1PM and they know it's time to get up.. hahahaha..
I had a friend, at the meeting last night, remind me that if I really wanted to get high, I'd get high. Having money in the bank or not wouldn't make a difference as when we get set on getting high, we find the ways and means to do it. He's right.
But I just feel safer having less in the bank than more. I've gotten to the point where I don't want to sell anything, I don't want to steal, and I don't want to run my account into the ground again. Maybe it's a good thing all around.
Maybe it means I really am done as I am not contemplating how to get around having to show account balances and receipts and make everything match (my best friend checks my balances regularly), in order to get high. I just don't care. I know they'll match, I am not getting high, and I don't want to.
It's that part of me that really just drives my belief in a higher power. What or who else could take the desire away? I prayed more, this year, than I ever have in my life, and with doing my part (meetings, doing step work, staying away from old people/places/things, etc.), I really believe it's going to work. I know many people, who are very religious (I am spiritual but not religious), have been praying for me too. I am hoping that the miracle continues to work and I don't ever go back to crack cocaine, or abuse anything again..
Ok, I might let it slide when it comes to computers and cars. Anything can kill you, but computers and cars are legal (for the most part) and less likely do so. I just have to work to keep those things in moderation.
My local drag strip is open today. Wish I could go, but two things stop me. Money and my son's birthday party which I wouldn't miss for the world. I am sitting at my boyfriend's house waiting for the moment my kid gets here! ON DIAL UP! UGH! hahaha
Thank you!!! *HUGS*