Lex,
It's wonderful to see you reaching out and trying to figure what you need to be healthy when you have an alcoholic mom. I am 47 years old and have children your age. I can't talk about drinking with my teens without being weirded out by my life experiences. I hate that I dislike Christmas and other holidays because so many have been ruined by my mother's drinking. I hate that I could never have her babysit my children. When they were small, they would sometimes ask, and I always had to come up with an excuse. I did not want to burden with my adult problems. I have asked them to respect alcohol because of our history and the genetic component related to alcoholism. Three of my four grandparents were alcoholic.
My brother was also deeply affected by my mother's drinking and my father's blind eye to the whole situation. I became a mentor to my brother as he grew up, since he was 10 years younger than me. As a result we are very close. We often laugh, at the ridiculous situations that we have lived through. Once we had to take my drunk mother to emergency since she had fallen and needed stitches. She always denies she has drank anything. She immediately told us that she didn't drink, it was the doctor that was drinking.
So I say to you, ,sometimes you have to laugh because you get tired of crying. Try to find those who you be talk to, be it Alanon or a counsellor.
I am so much more an independent woman since, early on, I learned to take care of myself. I learned to cook, I went to university, I got a great job and I have a fantastic husband and children. I have low tolerance for bull%%%t since I have had to did with it for so long. I hate that my mom still drinks, but I have detached myself from it. Be strong and learn from the challenges.
"You don't need a good memory if you always tell the truth."