Hi Lex,
My mom is an alcoholic. I didn't notice she had a problem until high school (I'm 29), after she divorced my step-dad (he was a nasty alcholic).
When you mentioned that you worry about you or your siblings becoming alcoholics, I felt relieved because I somehow wondered if I was the only person that ever worried about that. My grandmother was a terrible alcoholic, my uncle (my mom's brother), my grandpa (mom's dad), and now my mom. The buck stops with me. It's almost as if I go to extremes to ensure that I don't become "that" person. It's always in the back of my mind and always will be because I know how much destruction the disease brings with it. So, you are not alone in that thought.
The one and only regret that I have is that I stayed with my mom after high school instead of going away to college. I thought I needed to take care of her because I knew she couldn't do it for herself. I stayed until I was 21 and by then I had had enough. After I moved out, she got worse. Moving out was the best possible solution for me and it's been the best decision I've ever made because I've learned so much through reading, Al-anon and SR. I finally discovered that a home could be peaceful and place for refuge and not termoil, terror and sadness.
I too have given up on the relationship that I wish I could have with her. Someone that loves me unconditionally. Someone that can hold me and tell ME that everything will be okay. Someone that I can respect. I know that will never happen so in a way, I'm grieving for the mom I never had and will never get.
I'm proud of you for coming here. I'm proud of you for getting out and taking care of yourself. You've stopped the cycle in your life and from here on out, it can get better. I promise. Keep your head high and know that this place (SR) is wonderful. Reach out to a school counselor or a support group such as Al-Anon or SR. It will do so many great things for you. This is just the beginning. Keep writing and we'll keep listening.
Take care of you!