Hey Lex-
I grew up with an alcoholic father - and sadly 3 of my bros are alcoholics in varying stages from active to attempting recovery to traded-alcohol-for-pot.
What helped turn my head around the most was in my twenties I finally found AlAnon. I used the old adage take what you can use and leave the rest and took every ounce of goodness from what that proghram offered me and I began to heal and change and grow and see that I could leave all the shame, bitterness, rage, lying, fear behind me!
Also some sessions of one-on-one therapy over the years have helped me alot to work towards becoming the woman I want to be and not the "default child of an alcoholic upbringing" I was becoming.
Glad you found this place -- lots of ES&H here!
peace,
b