Getting a New Contract/Making Money. Advice.
Not to be funny, but it's true. I think the contract will be good, as far as helping me step towards paying my own way. I have only a couple bills. My cell phone (which, for this month, I'll have to ask Mom for help again) and insurance for my truck. My boss asked me last night, if I could take on a new building (which they also call a new contract) for my Friday nights. Since I am already off. I think it will be a good idea, I do, but I worry a little bit about making more money. Since this is what I call a "fair" month (I also run a small, part time business selling my goods at local fairs about every other month), I'll be making a LOT of money. I get my 60 days clean on the 4th. I want to keep going. I am so sick of restarting my clean date. I used to give my fair money to my one best friend, but he hasn't had a job in a while and the last time I did this, the ******* spent some of it without my permission. It was on food, but he should have asked. It pissed me off.. So I won't trust him with my cash again. I intend to give some of it to my Mom for paying for my stuff. Maybe I should just give it all to her??? Any other ideas???
Also, Mom is starting to hint at me paying her back since I got a job. She knows I only make 60 bucks a week right now. It really doesn't pay the bills. It's just putting gas in the tank right now, and that's it. I hate for it to be this way, but I'd like to at least get 90 days clean before making more money. I am thinking about taking on a contract/work for my Friday nights to get a little more extra and be able to pay for my phone and insurance.
Hell, I can't even buy A CARD for either of my children's birthdays. Which today is my youngest's birthday. He's 13. I am going to sacrifice some gas money to get some stuff to make cupcakes for him for the cookout (which mom is paying for) this weekend.
I am at the crossroads. Where I can no longer hide my emotions in dope, and realizing the extent of monetary/emotional/physical/mental damage I have done to myself and others. But I want to stay clean. I don't trust myself with much money...
Thanks for letting me jabber and thanks for any helpful tips.