Just a little about me so that you know where I'm coming from. I went to high school in a small town in the "Bible Belt." I was so narrow-minded and bigoted against anyone who was different, my world was pretty small. When I was a sophomore in high school, this guy moved to town. He was different, and in our ignorance we labeled him a "fag." I know this term is very offensive, but please know that I am not here to offend anyone. It was simply what we labeled this guy because he was different. Looking back, knowing what I know now, I don't believe that he was gay. We made his life hell, and sadly I was right in the thick of it. It is something I deeply regret and definitely am not proud of.
Most of you know I'm an AA'er and I am not going to waste your time defending AA, but the AA book says something about we are people who normally wouldn't mix. I hang with people today that I definitely wouldn't have drank with. Hell, I hang with people that I would not have had anything to do with when I first got sober.
I was a logger in a small logging town in The Pacific Northwest for about fourteen years, and I was still logging when I got sober. I was what most would call a "redneck." I took a dim view of "hippies," gay people, and anyone else that thought different than I did. Because of the change that has taken place in me, due to AA, I have good friends that are gay & lesbian. My friend Angie is a lesbian and I would trust my life to her. She has more "God" in her little finger than the fundamentalists who would condem her to hell for being who she is. And she is a pretty orthodox AA member. When I was three years sober, a man asked me to sponsor him. I had told him about my background and one day he said he had something to tell me but was afraid to because I might not sponsor him after he told me. I asked him what it was he wanted to tell me, He said that he was gay. I was able to tell him that it made no difference to me. You see, I had tried to find the guy from high school to make amends to him, but couldn't find him, but the circle always gets closed, and through my sponsee I was able to make that amend. That was over fourteen years ago and that man is still sober and I still sponsor him and we are good friends.
Another one my best friends is a patchoulli wearing, granola earting, tree hugging hippie. In fact we share a house today with two other very liberal folks, all of whom I know through AA. An ex-redneck logger living with a bunch of environmentalists and social activists. In fact, I'm pretty active in the community myself.
Between two and three years of sobriety, I tried being a part of a fundamental church. I kind of liked some of it, but I found the courage to question the doctrine and couldn't buy it. I also couldn't stomach the exclusivity and hateful bigotry towards anyone that wasn't in line with their agenda. I ended up leaving that church and haven't found a need to be a part of anything like it since. For a while I had a pretty good resentment, but I had to let it go.
To sum it all up, I find that I can't afford to be bigoted against the bigots.
Jim