Hi there, I too was worried about this, but it was worse keeping things the same and living with his drinking than worrying about what he'd be like sober. Al Anon teaches us to take things one day at a time, and I find that's very true. If I project too far into the future about what will be then I will paralyze myself from being able to act and live today.
He's been sober 3 months and in AA and I've been in Al Anon 7 months. We sleep in separate rooms (what spurred him into recovery). Things aren't great. We are friendly, take care of our daughter together, and are slowly working the uphill climb that is our relationship. I don't feel the same way that I used to, but trying not to come to a conclusion yet since we still are new to this. I don't know if I will ever love him again in a way that I once did, but I keep faith that maybe there is a new way of love that we'll find. Time will tell me if it won't happen and then I'll have to face that reality. But I do struggle with it, everyday. It's not easy, but I can never go back.
But, I think you're over-projecting and it may help to take baby steps. You say he's not even admitting a problem, so sobriety seems a long way off. First you have to deal with what is in front of you at the moment. And, you can't get him to admit anything - HE alone can do that. Believe me, we here have all tried, and it won't work. What you need to do is start taking care of yourself and as hard as it is, stop looking at him and what he needs to do. You can be supportive and encouraging, but THAT's all. Take care of you, take care of your baby first.