anewfather,
The thing about recovery is that your wife doesn't HAVE to have government help to do it. Alcoholics Anonymous meetings are free and exist all over North America. That she chooses not to get help is not the fault of waiting lists, but HER fault, HER choice.
I urge you to get help for yourself, learning as much as possible about your options and about how to survive alcoholism in a loved one. Al-Anon meetings were terrifically helpful for me, as were the "Sticky" posts at the top of this forum, and personal counseling to help get my thoughts, goals, and needs straight.
The only life you can control, unfortunately, is your own. If you have to find dependable child care while you're out interviewing, then you must do so. If you have to talk with an attorney about separating and getting custody of your son (for his own safety) then you must do that.
You cannot love her sober. You cannot force her to want recovery. And until she wants it, nothing will change for you. All you can do is stop wishing/hoping and start taking care of yourself. It's horrible, god I know. But you're in a really bad situation that you cannot control, and your path back to sanity depends on learning all you can about your options, and putting in place some boundaries about what you are and aren't willing to live with from your "best friend."
Sending you hugs, and wishing you luck. Please come vent any time. We're here.