First I would like to say welcome! You have come to the right place.
I am a recovering alcoholic and also a wife and a mother.
In my opinion, your wifes meds are not working because she is drinking. I suffer from depression and the alcohol just made the depression worse and kept any antidepressants from working. You could probably read the bottle and see that she should not drink with them. It is dangerous (as you have seen) and cause them to be ineffective.
There is a lot of help out there for an alcoholic that truly wants to get better. But she has to want this for herself. I attend AA and through working the program, my life and marriage is better than it has ever been. Here is a link for her if she wants help:
Welcome to: AA Canada .com - AA, Meetings, Drinking problem, Alcoholism, Alcoholics Anonymous, AA, drinking problem,addiction,Alcoholic help,alcoholism help,treatment,addictions,support,drugs,drug additon,drug additions
BUT folks will be around shortly to talk about the other side, that is what you need to do for YOU and your son.
Please stick around, read and post. This site s a huge part of my recovery!