I drank alone because I could no longer justify my drinking. I was embarrassed and ashamed. People had expectations of me and I could no longer meet them or did I care to. All I wanted to do is drink. I got angry when I thought other people were critical of me. Much of my anger I conjured up in my head. Many comments that would send me spinning really had nothing to do with me, but I made it about me. Ugh, I have a better handle on things today and try hard not to personalize everything said or not said.
I agree about setting boundaries. While drinking, I had no boundaries. I crossed lines I had no business crossing. I couldn't stop myself when I was on a roll and literally made a fool of myself feeling fully justified in doing so. Does that make sense? Why would I act a fool on one hand and feel justified on the other. Cunning, baffling and foolish...