Hi and Welcome,
I do understand how hard it is to stop and how overwhelming it seems at the moment. My best advice is to not think about 'forever'. It's too much to deal with right now. Just focus on getting through each day.
Have you talked to your dr about stopping drinking because it can be dangerous to detox from alcohol? If so, even though a treatment centre would be helpful, you don't necessarily need one in order to stop drinking. You could try AA, which might work for you.
And, you're right. I had to learn how to deal with emotions that I had hidden for decades. It was very scary, but you can do it. We're here to offer support.