24 Hours Sober
This is my first day of sobriety. It took a long time to get to this point--one failed marriage, countless lies, tons of hidden bottles, DUI, need I go on ? I have everything going for me--a wonderful new husband, 3 beautiful children, great career, nice home. But I still continue to self destruct when it comes to alcohol. I have abused alcohol for almost 20 years now, but have kept it somewhat well hidden to most. Except this morning, my husband found the bottle I had planned on enjoying today while he was working. He's had enough of the lies and promises of quitting--our life together will be over as we know it if I don't find help NOW.
The ironic thing is--I have sought help recently. I went to a local top notch facility for an assessment, and I really liked the people there. I finally saw light at the end of the tunnel, only to be told that my insurance would not cover services there. I would have to go to a facility downtown to get treatment--an area that is unsafe during the day, let alone at night.
My ideas of getting help sent me back to the bottle--stupid, huh ? I guess I'm going to have to do whatever it takes to remain sober, even if it means self pay at the facility I like.
The hardest part for me in all of this is wondering how I am going to live the rest of my life without alcohol. Maybe some of you can help me with this one. I realize I am going to have to relearn how to have fun and cope with life without, but it just seems unfathomable at this 24 hour point. BUT also at this point I am "sick and tired of being sick and tired".
Thanks for listening...