Originally Posted by
blessed4x 
She asked me "When he does these things or says nice things to you at these times does it move your heart?" It was a lightbulb moment for me. It was so obvious that the answer is no.
Me too. Sometimes my first thought is "what do you want" then I feel guilty for thinking that but.... what can I say it is what it is and he does usually want something.
At the book study I go to, one of the usual memebers said that he works the steps of AA becasue he is self centered and that he really doesn't want to do anything nice for anyone but himself. He works the steps so he can. It was a suprise to hear him say that but it was so honest. I learn a lot from that group, it's mixed AA and Al-anon.
What I am trying to get at I think, is that I am starting to really get that I want more from my life than I am getting now.
I keep writing then hitting delete so maybe I should just stop and say I am right there with you. Maybe what you wrote is hitting me hard now because my youngest graduates from high school in just over 2 months. Big life changes coming fast.
Thanks for the post.