blessed, this is spot-on. I remember just a few short months ago, he'd get drunk and then next day, as I carried on with detachment, he'd come grovel to me, looking rough and hung, apologizing, saying he'll try to do better and that he loves me. I just felt he was pathetic and it didn't move my heart at all.
Good insights, really helps you see with distinction, when the A (or anyone else really) is doing something with authenticity or with ulterior motive.