I know how you feel - its like you're getting to know this whole new person - not the child you rasied but some warped version of your child. Good for you for saying no and having the courage not to answer the phone.
One thing i notice is that some of the rehabs seem to try to pull us into a codie role - like thinking you can "make her feel better." that's not your job - that's her job.
I also find their buddy system to be very odd - the kids in my son's rehab are the last people he needs to hang with outside of there and some of their parents - wooowee - i wouldnt ever let him hang out with them. Many parents of those kids have the same problems as the kids so what in the world do they think those parents could offer my child. Some sneak in girlfriends to visitation and say they are "cousins", others will hand the kids cigaretts the second they walk out the door for leave. Apparently, I'm the "only" parent who wont do these things.