Originally Posted by
loveaboy 
i see my question from the other side and am truly sorry to sound so pathetic
You are NOT pathetic. You are muddling through the only way you know how. Please keep attending Al-Anon, or go to counseling if you find Al-Anon isn't cutting it for you.
I can only speak for myself, but I've been where you are, and then some. And I genuinely thought I was being supportive and helping. Once I had the tools to take care of my own business and stay out of the addict's way, things improved.
Please keep posting. We may sound a little blunt at times, but we do care.