cessy,
thank you for your reply and i really hope that your boyfriend gets better and everything works out between you.
It's a hard struggle.... at least I have come to makeing a 'little' progress... which is KNOWING that I can't and shouldn't attempt to control his behavior and choices. If his behavior and choices put me in a spot that I don't want to be in... then I will have to make choices for ME
you're right. i just need to concentrate on myself and definelty take better care of me. i've been slipping from the stress and fear, nestled in some unreachable point in the pit of my stomach. ...its so hard sometimes.... i know you know this.
thanks again!