Thank you so much for all your comments and kindness. I had no idea the response would be so quick! I am looking through all the threads, and see so many shared issues, concerns and struggles--I hardly know where to begin.
Right now, though, I feel terrified, and am not sure why. I don't know whether it's because I'm scared I will drink, or scared I will stay sober--not sure if that makes any sense, but it's about as well as I can explain it.