Thanks for sharing this, Keepcominback. I agree with your sponsor in that AA and NA involve many people who are struggling with personal issues (not a single person comes to AA/NA for fun!), and that oftentimes these issues can spill out onto others. It's an unfortunate reality of our condition.
I'm sorry that you've dealt with so many ugly things in your particular Fellowship. The worst of the worst of AA and NA lies within the very things you mentioned. AA is a beautiful thing, but in the hands of insane people, it is an instrument of torture.
I'm terrified of a breach in my confidentiality and anonymity, and know that it's only a matter of time before my employer hears the rumors. Oh, well, all I know is that I can fight it tooth and nail, if need be. That's defamation, without proof!
I find all of the folks in NA to have serious problems that are sometimes overcome with a lot of praying, meditating, serenity, wisdom, courage and self-awareness. Still, everyone relapses into old patterns of thinking occasionally.
I deal with a lot of jealousy from other members (I kept my career, in spite of my addiction and some folks aren't too happy about that; I have a boyfriend who adores me (though I have no idea WHY!), and people are pretty annoyed about that, too. I also have good friends outside of the Fellowship who are successful and NOT addicts (the two are not mutually exclusive, of course)).
Besides petty jealousy, there's the Sponsor issue. I'm looking for a new one, and am dismayed that no one's approached me to ask about sponsoring me, despite the fact that I put out a signal. I'll speak up again at another meeting and put out ANOTHER signal. Surely, someone will come forward.
I may have to be sponsorless for awhile ... as in, a year-while.
Thanks to all! xo