This is something that kind of screamed out at me because it recently came up in therapy:
Originally Posted by
bmychelle 
I know I am a loving, caring person and yet constantly and consistently choose people in my life that are he!! bent on punishing me.
I learned we do that because we have a need to be punished. Exploring and understanding 'why' is important, but changing it is more important, especially when we're in danger physically, emotionally, and spiritually.