Venus,
He mistreated you terribly, and while I celebrate your freedom from him, I am sorry you're feeling such pain.
BUT: It is as Barbara said. This is a fresh wound. Time will help heal this if you can focus full-time now on the things that bring you joy instead. It helped me to focus on the reasons why I was here: what am I here to do? What are my gifts, and who else could benefit from them? You are a whole and lovely human being with a job to do here..... Give yourself permission to heal. There is no particular honor in hanging on to sadness.
And be patient with yourself. You have come a long way, and you have broken a lot of bad habits recently. Give yourself some time.
:ghug