Being an alcoholic we never get our fill until we die. We can go on a diet of not drinking and fill ourselves up with other things such as God, AA, church, and recovery. We can learn new things by going back to school, read a book, try a new sport,but once we pick up that drink again we will know thurst that we never knew before. The alcoholism wants us to drink ourselves to death that's it's goal. I personally surrendered to win. Meaning I knew I could not drink safe any more,so I gave up any ideas that I could. I went into recovery (AA was my choice) to help me over come those thoughts about getting my fill once again. Chose any recovery path you want and stick with it. I miss drinking at times,but I do not miss the bad stuff that goes with it,so I stay sober. I do hope you understand that you will never get your fill of drinking,but you can get your fill of the bull **** that goes with it and get into recovery.